Is dad ready to start dating again?


“I’m going to resist the cow,” he said.

“Please do,” she said.

“Cholesterol, I mean,” he said.

“Yes, I knew that,” she said.

He put down the menu and excused himself.  He was sweating like a pig.

“Feel like I’m having a hot flash,” he said out loud to himself.  And realized immediately that he was not alone. Pretended not to notice, just shook it and zipped up without looking at the man standing next to him. Shit. Ok. Back at it. He washed his hands, cold water on his face.

“So, Evelyn,” he tried when he got back to the table. “Have you decided what you want?”

She looked at him. Eyes cool greyish green, a nice color. A little protruberant, a little fishy. fisheye Those silvery little fish that disappear when they turn — just little bulging eyes floating in vitreous fluid.

He was starting to sweat again. Grasping for topic control. Something to talk about. He brought out everything — TV, sports, animals. He was choking on his lasagna. Why did he get lasagna? Nothing like sweating and bloating to make a good blind date.

 
man in spaceHe closed his eyes and pictured himself escaping to another planet. Then another, and another. Careening through the void until he came to one with no mating rituals, no expectations, just rut and run, a little wholesome in-and-out between entities with no sweat glands.
Evelyn said something about her cat. He noticed her pin — a turquoise horseshoe.

“That’s unusual,” he said, pointing. She put her hand on the pin.

“My father goes to the races,” she said. He had no idea what that meant. He stopped talking.

She said, “Well, I guess I’d better get going angry kittybefore my kitty goes hungry.”

“I hope your kitty starves,” he said. Nervous paralysis finally shaken loose in a moment of free-floating hostility. Shit. I said that out loud, he thought.

He looked at the man in the table next to theirs. He thought it was probably the man from the restroom. He coughed.

“Well then,” he said. “Ready to go?”

 

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8 Responses to “Is dad ready to start dating again?”


  1. 1 truce March 21, 2007 at 4:24 am

    “Did I say that out loud?”
    LOL, recognise myself much?!

    This piece made me laugh out loud, and the previous one was exquisitely phrased.

    Good work Teresa!

  2. 2 Teresa March 21, 2007 at 7:30 am

    hee-hee! Thanks! I’ve recently been directed to “cringe”, which is reading publicly from embarassing adolescent journals (see que sera sera). This is strictly cringe fiction, however.

    I liked my old Jungians, too.

  3. 3 miss honey March 21, 2007 at 11:41 am

    A collection of some of the best free dating sites around today at http://freedatingdirectory.mysite.orange.co.uk

  4. 4 Teresa March 21, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Thank you, Miss Honey, but dad’s not really on the market. This is a fictional piece. Oh wait, so are you.

  5. 5 ellie March 26, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Such terrible nerve-wracking stuff. Thank God I’ve got a boyfriend.

    ellie

  6. 7 Craig Towsley July 29, 2011 at 6:31 am

    Love this line “a little wholesome in-and-out”


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