Intelligent Design






Whenever considering design, it is advisable to choose a starting point, to give perspective. For example, here let us start with a survey of tight butts as developed and designed by movie history. With James Cagney, say. About face. Please notice the well-rounded gluteals of this 1940s vintage talkies star. We will not dwell on Orson Welles, lest we become disillusioned.


Now, onto religion. We will take the long view:


You could be a chicken hawk, a falcon, an eagle circling high over the barnyard of a prehistoric farmer, one with the fossil bones of mastadons mulching in his back 40, circling low over dwindling salt lakes where creationists will rewrite scientific method 30 million years later in their own narcissistic image.


Eagle, chicken hawk, falcon, sparrow, angel, bat, man. Shunted through the clouds by an autocratic despot, some manic wrecking-ball of a god who in one swell week built everything from single cell to stegosaurus, dental floss, hound dog, rosebud, the DNA that wrote the writers who wrote Ricky Ricardo.


In the face of this howling megalomania the winds came crashing down to fill the oceans with suffering messiahs, uncontrollable death pain rebirth, deviant war-torn gravel-skinned stoic fundamental perverts all lined in a row on hard wooden pews on their knees to the one the truth the way the charismatic penny-a-piece religions.


We became nostalgic, filled our mouths with platitudes like popcorn balls and gave ourselves up to the higher powers, the sugar-free care free fancy free going-to-take-you-to-heaven saviours, where we will be all alone together ad infinitum ad nauseam forever and ever amen.


And in this image he is risen to the surface and beyond to fly like the chicken hawk the falcon eagle sparrow angel bat and man through the clouds to the earth and up again, reincarnation the evaporative process of soul gone to loss gone to renewal, the farmer turning his compost to keep the ground rich enough for worms, rich enough for man and bird and asparagus fern swaying in the blue hot breeze every summer since the first cell divided, by divine command or by the crushing need to pattern repattern and start over again.


Tight butts loose butts dental floss salt lick faith trust alliance with the other one-celled building blocks, all counting out loud very loud, colliding in the big bang. The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. Someone jumped over the moon, someone else wore velvet and had a waistcoat pocket, someone sang sweet by the light of the silvery moon. I like to croon with my honey in June. Honey and jam. Sweet dreams intelligent design, sweet dreams creationism, sweet dreams random access, sweet dreams evolution.


5 Responses to “Intelligent Design”

  1. 1 ellie January 9, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    Glad you noticed James Cagney. He got those great gluteals by tap dancing. Early in his career (ca-rear?) he was a dancer. Its a thing of beauty (booty?).


  2. 2 truce January 10, 2007 at 3:47 am

    This piece reminds me of a Radiohead song, but I can’t remember which one!

  3. 3 Teresa January 10, 2007 at 8:50 am

    Radiohead! I pulled this piece out of an old notebook, probably from the mid-90s — could easily have Radiohead influences. Or Talking Heads, that occurs to me too.

    Ellie, I almost changed the old star cause I don’t really know that much about James Cagney, but I like him anyway. What should I watch to get to know him and his bootie a bit better?

  4. 4 Lollyloo January 10, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    From the mid-90’s, eh? A fine rant full of rapid-fire associations on evolution vs. creationism.

    Interesting to see your own evolutio,n with a recent and thoughtful treatment of the same topic in your November post “At the Intersection”.

  5. 5 truce January 11, 2007 at 3:45 am

    Jimmy Cagney – a true star. I Ioved him in “Angels with Dirty Faces”.

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